Theater Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

The first film in this franchise probably didn't live up to the hype surrounding it, despite having such great star power involved. But, it was still enjoyable - despite the fact that Cobra Commander didn't look like the Cobra Commander we all hoped.

So, G.I. Joe: Retaliation was a semi-reboot, but still tied up loose ends that were left from the first film. Missing were Sienna Miller (Baroness), Rachel Nichols (Scarlett), Dennis Quaid (General Hawk), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Heavy Duty) and Said Taghmaoui (Breaker).

Returning to the film as characters, but with different actors were Destro and Cobra Commander, so Christopher Eccleston and Joseph Gordon-Levitt did not return.

The only characters returning with the same actors were, Jonathan Pryce as the US President, Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, Ray Park as Snake Eyes, Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow and Channing Tatum as Duke.

(Spoilers of both films are involved)

The threat, however, remains the same - Zartan has taken over as the President, and no one knows it yet. He has framed the Joes for stealing nuclear warheads and has sent a strike team to destroy them - including their leader Duke.

As the dust settles, only Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) were able to survive after jumping into a nearby well.

Storm Shadow and newcomer Firefly (Ray Stevenson) have located where Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey) and Destro are being held - and gets himself taken prisoner in order to break them out - though in the end, Cobra Commander decides against freeing Destro. Storm Shadow, though, is injured from a blast and goes to a temple to recover.

Snake Eyes and his new apprentice Jinx (Elodie Yung) set out to the temple to capture Storm Shadow and bring him back to Blind Master (RZA) to answer for the death of Hard Master.

Meanwhile, Roadbloack, Flint and Lady Jaye try stop the impostor President who is blackmailing other nations into submitting to him and his new weapon of mass destruction - which he uses as to destroy London. For help, Roadblock takes them to retired and original Joe - Joe Colton (Bruce Willis).

I have heard the grumblings - and by the ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, critics have let it be known that this is not a good film.

But, I feel it may be the perfect film. The perfect film to kickoff the summer.

Summer is about explosions, stupid one-liners and beautiful people. It usually isn't about the best script, or even the best actors. It's is mostly about having fun. And, G.I. Joe: Retaliation was fun.

I had a few complaints - for instance, killing off Duke. Now sure they can figure out someway to pretend he wasn't dead, but at the end of this film he was. Channing Tatum may not be an amazing actor, though I have come to enjoy some of his work, but he has become a start. And, unless you intend on bringing him back from the dead, he is now gone from this franchise. Which, may not have been the best idea. Even those characters from the first film can still return - they were not killed.

Second, RZA is a terrible actor. The scenes with him instructing Snake Eyes had to be the most painful to watch. They could have easily gotten someone else - someone way better to play that role.

Finally, the mountain-side fight featuring Snake Eyes was absolutely amazing to watch. And, Cobra Commander actually somewhat looked like Cobra Commander - I just wish Gordon-Levitt had returned.

So, yes I liked this movie. It was fun. If you don't like fun movies - why are you watching them? If you want to watch Oscar-nominated movies alone, you have that right. But, don't continue to blast these summer popcorn flicks - what the hell are you expecting them to be like?

Grade:

HOT: Bonfire of the Vanities

Well, color me red. I have been dreading watching this film because for some reason I was getting it mixed up with War of the Roses, that Danny DeVito/Michael Douglas film that I have heard some horrible things about. Lucky for me, it wasn't.

Still not spectacular, but I got through it.

Tom Hanks stars as Stephan McCoy, a hot shot Wall Street investor who is married to Judy (Kim Cattrall) and has a daughter in Bonfire of the Vanities. He also happens to have a girl on the side, Maria (Melanie Griffith).

One night while taking his dog for a walk, McCoy makes a huge mistake that pretty much sends his life into a downward spiral. McCoy heads to a payphone to call his mistress, and by mistake calls his wife. Some innocent mistake that was the start of a very bad period for him.

Judy of course, is pissed that he is cheating, but doesn't leave him just sort of ignores him. This doesn't stop McCoy from seeing Maria though. He finds out that she is coming into town to visit and picks her up at the airport.

While 'fooling around' in the car they miss their exit and are forced to take the next one and turn around. They end up in the South Bronx and while trying to get back on the freeway, McCoy is forced to get out of the car to to move a spare tire out of the way. Two men approach him and as he tries to get away, Maria jumps into the driver's seat and McCoy jumps into the car.

After arriving at Maria's apartment, McCoy wants to call the cops to explain what happened, just in case one of the men was injured by the car during the escape, but Maria stops him.

This all just so happens to be happening about the same time as Abe Weiss (F. Murray Abraham) is seeking reelection for District Attorney and the African American community is up in arms due to the constant amount of African Americans getting locked away. So, they were searching for a white man to make an example (and a show) of.

This is where McCoy's life begins to fall apart. A writer, Peter Fallow (Bruce Willis) writes a piece on the accident, playing up the kid in a coma as an honor student. McCoy reads this while speaking an important client, and freaks out, losing a $6 million deal in the process.

Finally, McCoy is arrested and put on trial in front of Judge Leonard White (Morgan Freeman) for the hit-and-run accident. The courtroom is a circus as everyone is trying to make an example of McCoy.

And, that is where I will leave you. I won't let you know how the trial ends or what happens next. Watch it to see for yourself.

Was this a good movie? Maybe. But, it wasn't spectacular. Honestly, I really didn't like Hanks' character in the film, so that threw me off a bit. And, I have never really enjoyed Griffith - I can't think of a single role of hers I have enjoyed.

I just wasn't that interested in the film. I found it rather boring. I didn't hate it, it just was well nothing really.

Grade:

40/50: Pulp Fiction

I don't know what took so long for me to finally watch this. Despite thinking I knew most about the film itself, I was still blown away.

Pulp Fiction is basically the telling of a series of events, not exactly told in chronological order.

It was a lot less bloody than I was expecting, but that was ok because it didn't take anything away from the actual film.

As good as the story was, the best part about the film was the dialogue. I absolutely loved the dialogue in The Social Network because it was so smart and it seemed like each and every word was so important. I got that same feeling when watching Pulp Fiction. Most of the film really has no important dialogue, but the way it is spoken in the film - even about a stupid quarter pounder with cheese - it seems important.

Anyway, the film mostly revolves around a man that we do not actually see for most of the film. Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames) is a crime lord, who employs two hit men, Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson). Wallace also makes a deal with a boxer, Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis), to take a fall in a match and make Wallace a ton of money.

Those are the two main stories of the film. Two other smaller stories involve Vega and Wallace's wife, Mia (Uma Thurman) - you know that iconic dancing scene, right? The final story is both the beginning and the ending of the film, featuring a couple of wanna-be criminals, Pumpkin (Tim Roth) and Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer).

The absolute best part of the film are the scenes involving Travolta and Jackson. The dialogue between the two of them is amazing and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Just perfection in words.

This was my second Quentin Tarantino film (Jackie Brown being the other), and this was much better. I hope the other Tarantino films are as good as this one - I am very intrigued now and can't wait to see them.

Grade:

31/50: Red

This movie sort of got lost in the wind. I found myself counting the rest of the films I had left on my 50 list and I was coming up one short. I had to go back through and figure out what was missing - and sure enough I had forgotten to put down this film.

So, here is the missing film that I watched a good while ago.

Red is a film that follows a quartet of retired CIA agents that are brought back together to after Frank (Bruce Willis) is attacked in his house.

After realizing that the assailants have tapped his phone, he heads to Kansas City to find the only person he has been talking to, Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) in fear that they would go after her to find him.

To help him along the way, he joins up with his former CIA team of Joe (Morgan Freeman), Marvin (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Helen Mirren) to help him track down who is after him and why.

This film had a lot of great action and plenty of small jokes. Malkovich was way over the top which is the way I like my Malkovich. Freeman wasn't in the film as much as I would have liked - and he was outstanding as well.

I won't go into the entire story as it might ruin what the film was about. I had heard that this film was outstanding, but I was a bit underwhelmed - however, it was a decent watch, just not outstanding.

Grade:

13/50: The Expendables

I was so excited to see this film last summer, but like most films I was unable to check it out at the theater. This has everything that a summer blockbuster would want - action, a bit of comedy, and more action. Of course, it looks like it should be from the 80's with the cast.

The Expendables is a virtual cornucopia of action stars from the 80's. Sylvester Stallone is the main star, but also has parts for Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickey Rourke. Some of the new tough guys are also along for the ride, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Steve Austin, Terry Crews and Randy Couture.

Barney Ross (Stallone) is hired by Mr. Church (Willis) to overthrow a brutal dictator, General Garza (David Zayas). Ross and is crew, Lee Christmas (Statham), Yin Yang (Li), Hale Caeser (Crews) and Toll Road (Couture) take the job, but soon find out that it isn't exactly Garza that is controlling everything, but ex-CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts).

Like I said, a ton of action. Some pretty brutal scenes, especially with Crews' special gun. But overall, very good action film. It wasn't an amazing film, but everything that you would expect from a Stallone action film. Great summer popcorn flick.

Only thing missing as Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Maybe next time.

Grade:

Die Hard Tetralogy

I had to watch Die Hard: With a Vengeance for a project I had to do in my math class. And I didn't want to watch the third movie, without at watching the first two.

I swear I had watched these movies before, but after I got through the three of them I realized, that I may have only seen the third one - despite recognizing a few scenes in the first two, I don't think I have watched them as a whole.

So, this week I watched the Die Hard Tetralogy - including last year's release of Live Free or Die Hard.

Instead of large reviews each film, I will do what I have been doing with smaller reviews of a handful of movies - but as a whole I would have to give this tetralogy an Excellent grade.

Title: Die Hard.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, Reginald VelJohnson, Paul Gleason, William Atherton and Alan Rickman.

Brief Synopsis: John McClane (Willis) is heading to LA to be with his estranged wife Holly (Bedelia) and his two kids. Holly had moved to LA for a job, leaving NY police office McClane behind. After arriving at her office during a Christmas party, Hans Gruber (Rickman) and his gang take over the building in an attempt to steal a large amount of money. And it's up to McClane to save the day.

Opinion: I have to admit I love a good, smart villain and Rickman's Gruber was outstanding. He had thought of basically everything to get away scott free with a ton of money, and it was fun to see everything play out. What he didn't count on was McClane - who is truly an every man's hero.

Grade:

Title: Die Hard 2.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, William Atherton, John Amos and Dennis Franz.

Brief Synopsis: McClane is visiting his wife's parents for Christmas and is currently awaiting Holly's arrival at the airport. That same afternoon, General Esperanzo is being transported via plane to the area. McClane becomes supsicious when he finds two men in the baggage department of the airport - but receives little help from Capt. Lorenzo (Franz). Col. Stuart (Sadler) and his men take over the airport and all the airport guidance systems in order to free Esperanzo. Of course, McClane proves to be a one-man army again to take down the villains.

Opinion: I still enjoyed this film, but it was lacking a lot of what the first one had. Plus, it almost tried to copy the first one as McClane was all alone in saving the day. Sadler was pretty good as the villain, but not as great as Rickman's character in the first film. Still a solid showing, but probably my least favorite of all of them.

Grade:

Title: Die Hard: With a Vengeance.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Larry Bryggman and Jeremy Irons.

Brief Synopsis: A criminal mastermind, Simon Gruber (Irons) has stolen gallons of a liquid bomb which is set off in downtown New York. Gruber is also holding a grudge against McClane for killing his brother, Hans. So, he enlists McClane - and later Zeus Carver (Jackson) - to play a handful of games, including riddles and math problems, in order to save a school.

Opinion: This film was highly entertaining, and although I was not sure if giving McClane a partner would work - it truly did with Jackson's performance and the two played very well against each other. Irons still wasn't up to the task of Rickman's performance, but he was very convincing as Simon. The riddles and games as a diversion was also very clever and pretty entertaining in trying to figure out along with Carver and McClane.

Grade:

Title: Live Free or Die Hard.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith and Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Brief Synopsis: 12 years after the last film, McClane is a police lietenant and is given the assignment of tracking down and bringing in a computer hacker, Matt Farrell (Long). What he doesn't realize is that Farrell has accidentally helped Thomas Gabriel (Olyphant) take over the world's computers - and cause a "fire sale". McClane has to keep Farrell alive, track down Gabriel and also rescue his daughter Lucy (Winstead) before Gabriel shuts down the entire coutnry.

Opinion: A bit updated as the events take place in 2006 or 2007, which was very interesting to see McClane adapt. He has never been happy with technology, and seems even further behind now. Not technically a sidekick, Long was very entertaining as Farrell - and Olyphant was a great villain, who technically thought he was a do gooder.

Grade: